Today, I can’t adult.
It’s 330am. The cat is meowing and scratching at the door for food already.
I’m awake, I’m up.
Bump into hubby who is sleeping in the other room due to ‘infectious’ me. Charming. It’s 520am, he’s off to work. I collapse into him, a sobbing mess. He guides me back to bed, says some kind words of ‘look after yourself (trying to), everything can wait today (good), love you (sorry about your work jersey covered in snotty tears).’
I’m not well. Fluey, throat is on fire and bunged up from taking pills doctor gave me to stop my butt explosions 4 days ago. I still haven’t gone and feel I need to every 4 minutes. It feels like a small cat is trying to claw outta my tummy. You didn’t need to know that. But it’s out there now.
And my mind and eyes are tired. Get off the screen? Need to. I was going away this weekend for a netball tournament, my 1st overnight trip away from Lily. But that won’t be happening. Gimme a break.
Blah blah moaning murtle.
Lily is stirring. Already? Pop ear plugs into ears. Give me 30more minutes please. Deep breathe.
We made it to 615 before the grizzles start winding up.
She woke not happy, I think she is getting ill too. Nothing, NOTHING is worse 😕. Back to bed with her, I reach for my IPad and find some nursery rhymes on YouTube. 2 minutes of resting eyes before
‘Nana, nana, pear pear, toas toas (toast toast) ma-mit ma-mit (marmite).’ It’s feeding time at the beautiful Zoo. I actually feel ripped off at this stage cause I feel like I’ve had the best weekend out in Vegas or somewhere party-like, yet this never happened. My mouth is all cottonmouthy metallic tasting from those bloody shit blocker pills the doc gave. My eyeballs are hanging, my voice is raspy, my nose is running like I’ve snorted something up it on my Vegas nights out and damaged the nerve endings (I’ve never snorted stuff up my nose Mum, just know that your nose runs if you do snort stuff of the White powder variety. It’s science).
I take away (god I feel guilty at this stage, terrible terrible parent) Lily’s bookcase and books while she’s obliviously munching on her tar covered toast. We pretty much read all day, each book, 100x over. Now, I LOVE to read with Lily. I read what ever she bring to me, what ever she is interested in. It’s takes energy! Sounds stupid? You try it. All freaking day. But today, we have no books. It’s a no spot the dog, hairy mclairy, green sheep, each peach pear plum, I love you always kind of day. Nope. I lay on the couch, vaguely encouraging the play. 8am. Doctors are open to ring.
Doctors visit goes swimmingly. I’m on antibiotics.. Lily screamed the roof off and she wasn’t even being checked over. She hates that place. And I’m starting to feel the same. Waiting for the prescription, Lily has found some items and pulls them off the shelf with enthusiasm. Condoms, Lube and ‘Old spice’ deodorant…..? Hastily putting them away, fake smiles all around, we leave for home. ‘Pear pear chee chee water water’. Its nearing lunch time already.
Drive through macdonalds it is. First happy meal Lily has ever had. Chicken nuggets, Apple pieces. Fanta for the drink please. That’s a double Fanta for Mumma. Give me that suuggaaarrrrr. (Note lily did NOT have Fanta, so don’t you be calling child services on my greysweatpanted ass).
Greeeeeeeeaat for a recovering gastro tummy!
It’s nearly nap time. Praise the gods above. Its. Nearly. Bloody. Nap. Time.
‘Mumma Mumma book book boo boo (her cuddly)’. Bless her little cotton tail she has found two books behind and under the couch. Oh she can sniff them out. At least her nostrils are working.’Yes darling, it’s nap time.’
Snuggling into the well moulded couch, (let’s be honest, I havent moved all day apart from the doctors trip) we cheerily read The Jungle grapevine Book and sleepily read Guess How Much I Love you, those books that Lily snuffled out. I breathe in her auburny hair smells. Her small body eases into mine, giving up to the mornings antics. I bundle her up into her sleeping bag and lay her down with her booboo. She grins cheekily up at me, kicks her legs around like a worm, bites booboo, rolls over and slowly nods off.
Today, I can’t adult.
But today, I can be thankful.
And tommorrow, I can live.