The sun shines out my butt.

20180401_161140Little eyes and ears are ALWAYS watching and listening. ALWAYS.

Mumma says “Wow look at that pretty rainbow” Lily says to dad “Wow daddy, look at that pretty rainbow”. Muttering under breathe “Dick daddy didn’t wash that dish right..” “Daddy you didn’t wash it right dick…”

With eyes and ears on high alert, there is no room for slip ups verbally. But OHHH there have been many a few choice words or phrases slipped thru me old loose lips. It happens. Oh well. Shite happens “shite happens mumma!”…

What I try not to talk about negatively in front of Lily, is my body. I feel tired and I look tired. My skin is loose and when I walk, it feels like jelly is wobbling all over. I have cellulite upon cellulite and my eye bags have eye bags. My stretch marks on my belly are angry and my leg hairs are long enough that my 2 year old says ‘mummy that’s furry, ‘ when she touches my legs. I wear the same clothes day in day out; either easy access to the boob singlets with a zip up hoodie and trackies or my active wear. Or on a not so good day, pajamas until bed time. Whack a fresh pair of undies of course.

Because of the eyes and ears are always present, positive body image talk, I feel, is important. Lily once said to me in the changing rooms, when I was about 7 months prego, “Mummy you look so fat”.

On those days I feel slobbish, I will mope around but I won’t acknowledge the way I negatively feel about my physical appearance in front of Lily. It is not healthy. So, as the title says, I like to give myself ‘The sun shines out my butt’ talk.

Even if my butt ain’t so sunshiny that day, I will acknowledge the feelings of shit but park them coming out mouth.

We also try (big emphasis on try) use words that don’t associate her looks with her being her. Because looks shouldn’t define a person? Shit it’s hard though, because she does look pretty with her hair tied up and no snot in it. And she does look cute in her fairy dresses. So maybe let those slide right now…? Too hard basket? Too young to care? Possibly. But not too young to repeat!

As long as she doesn’t say mummy looks fat now that Elijah is 10 months old, I’ll be a happy Mumma. And if she does, well the shitty sun still tries to shine out my big butt.

 

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